


Our Every Night

by devotedfromthestart



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drabble, F/M, M/M, Mostly hurt, and just hurt, like feelings, living that hydra life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:39:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devotedfromthestart/pseuds/devotedfromthestart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is our every night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Every Night

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so hey. This is my first work on this website, not my first fanfiction though.  
> I wrote this as a flash fiction piece (so it is pretty short) for an assignment but I never ended up using it - still, I enjoyed it enough I decided to share it.
> 
> This is part of what might become a series of works??? it was originally supposed to slip right into a larger, multi-chaptered piece I was working on however I don't think I have enough time to work on it (I just graduated high school and I've got my final exams coming up in like a week - then university next year, so oh well) but I think I'll do something along the lines of one shots set in a certain universe.
> 
> Let me know if you like it, there's plenty more where that came from - all reader/Bucky based so yeah :)
> 
> (also "I" is reader and "you" is Bucky - just in case you couldn't gather - AND HEY Reader doesn't have a specific gender [well she did but now it's whatever you like!])
> 
> -Shareena

The clock is flashing bright green numbers in front of my half-asleep eyes, 3:21 am blaring at me in the dark, in silence. As an instinct I reach my arm across the bed sheets only to find an empty space. As I sit up I spot your figure rocking back and forth by the window, silent sobs wracking your body and I let out a barely audible “oh”, moving my hand away from my pillow, before your eyes find mine, too scared to wake me, too worried to worry me.

 

I understand that you cannot let go of those images that haunt you and tear you apart in the middle of the night. I understand that you refuse to let me carry any of the burdens you harbour despite the fact that you swore, you promised I can take half of what you take. I move towards you slowly, refusing to listen to the voice in the back of my head that tells me I do not want a repeat of last week and though I reach for the scar around my arm, I soon reach for your shoulder. 

 

This is our every night. This is our routine, and as your tears become my tears and my questions become your apologies and the sheet wrapping around my body becomes your arms, I don’t know if I would ever ask for anything else even though there is darkness in this darkness. We end each nightmare the way we always do, with a vow to share the burden, to fight the fight inside our minds for each other, to fix the broken things. But we are nothing but clockwork, we are set in our ways and our programming and soon we will go back to retreating inside ourselves – you wearing your perfectly carved mask in the daylight, strings attached to limbs and mine silent and stiff inside those small, cold four walls before returning to the shadows to find solace within each other. 

 

You wear your scars proudly, like tattoos that bare a story and have some deep meaning while mine are nothing more than sharp words that play like a broken record in my head 24/7 fading in and out between the lines of every conversation. But your heartbeat drowns them out every time and my hands will wave away the memories and we’re both crying because tomorrow will be the same, I will remember, always remember and you will forget until we begin our routine, our every night. 

 

Your breathing is my lullaby and the last words I hear falling from your lips make me tremble the same way I always do (I love you, I don’t want to forget you) before I fall into a cold slumber, letting the ice take over with the faces of unfamiliar scientists as their words meld together into the droning of a sentence I know all too well “vitals-are-stable-cyrogenic-freeze-complete-we-will-see-you-again-tomorrow-SubjectH2LH3A-now-prepare-the-soldier-for-the-memory-erasure”. Your screaming triggers the loss of my sanity and the last thing I see is you pleading with the men and women in the lab coats is to let me go, to let you remember, to set us free. But they begin to take you away, to wipe you clean and to attach the puppet strings once more, as you yell and kick and fight, and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore and I don’t know whether it’s because of the drugs or the ice or my tears.

 

I will keep my promise, I will remember for both of us. I will spend the days, weeks, months that I always do helping you to remember yourself once again just as I have always done. I will keep my promise when I wake up.

 

=====

 

The clock is flashing bright green numbers in front of my half-asleep eyes, 3:21 am blaring at me in the dark, in silence. As an instinct I reach my arm across the bed sheets only to find an empty space. As I sit up I spot your figure standing, staring at me by the window. I reach for the gun under my pillow before your eyes find mine, too cold to remember, too dark to let me leave this room alive.

**Author's Note:**

> btw: H2LH3A is two separate numeronyms for "hail (heil) hydra" pretty cool huh ;)


End file.
